Consent is key.
But wait.. what is Consent?
Consent is a hot topic in the sex-positive scene, and not only since the #MeToo movement started in 2017.
However, boiling Consent down to one true definition that serves all remains tricky – because everybody has a different idea of what Consent is:
Consent is all about respect. Respect for our boundaries, for what we want and dont want. Consent is about standing up for ourselves and saying no. Consent is an act of empowerment.
Consent is all about empathy. Consent is all about being in your body, and feeling, witnessing, honouring what is happening inside, feeling the flow. Daring to invite someone, or someones into the space of touch and connection and maybe more, and sensing the pleasures of the body.. and also listening to when a body, or mind, says no.
Consent is all about authenticity. Consent is all about being one’s self, being true to one’s self, and acting on it. Consent is stepping out of the suffering and victim role, and taking a stand.
Consent is saying “Hell Yeah”, and “No, thank you”. Consent is a opening the space to listen what someone is trying to say.. even if they can not speak. It is about maybe asking one time too often, rather then one time too less
Consent is all about opening a space of awareness. A space where we admit that all humans make errors – and we all can learn from our mistakes. A space for growth and learning, and all the things that make us human.
Consent is all of the above.. and at The Intimate Revolution we believe that it goes two ways, not just about respecting boundaries, but also about sharing desires. It is also about being honest and vulnerable about what we truly want – or do not want. In this way, Consent is also about our wishes, our pleasures, our fantasies, our dreams, and how we can bring them to live.
Consent is a philosophy of the empowered self. Consent is authenticity come to live. Consent is the space where intimacy can thrive. Consent is an idea with the capacity to change the world – a world not split into victims and perpetrators by violence and disempowerment, but a world of humanity, trust and shared respect for each other. A world with a less trauma and more connection.
So what are we waiting for?
PS – If this is too many words, check out this video about consent-is-tea, or this one by the NYU – Let’s talk about Consent.
For further reading, the consent academy has a lot of accessible in-depth info, another great source is the one and only Betty Martin and the wheel of consent, and if you are into visuals, the Burner community provides a link full of memes on consent.